Chapter 81
Note: Early chapter release, thanks to Sakuradahl's support on Ko-Fi (´｡• ◡ •｡`) ♡
Qin Zhongjin got up several times during the night, and the servant who slept in the outer room noticed. The servant even explained to the third prince, who had a cold expression on his face, saying that the third prince wanted to get married.
Remembering Mu Cai in his dream with half-undressed clothes, and upon hearing these words, Qin Zhongjin felt even more annoyed and restless.
He tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Mu Cai's soft, moist, rosy lips; delicate collarbone; and the snowy white skin. When he got up in the morning, there was a dark bruise under Qin Zhongjin's eyes, anger all over his body, and an unfriendly expression that scared off all the servants.
It wasn't until he went to the Imperial Academy to read like he usually did, that he saw Mu Cai again. The young lad was dressed in a red outfit, waiting at the entrance of the Imperial College. As soon as Mu Cai's bright eyes saw Qin Zhongjin, a smile appeared on his face, and he waved and shouted from afar:
"Brother Zhongjin!"
Mu Cai's voice was ethereal and pleasant, his expression full of anticipation, extinguishing the anger that Qin Zhongjin had held inside. His lips curled up involuntarily, and with a faint smile on his face, he hurried towards the figure of the young lad: "I'm coming!"
It wasn't until after class, when Mu Cai had to return to the Mu Residence like usual, that the restlessness in Qin Zhongjin's heart struck again. The ordinary parting that they used to have now stirred up a different kind of irritation in him.
Qin Zhongjin suppressed his emotions and went to report to his father, the emperor. He was almost fifteen years old, and his academic performance was excellent. His essays were insightful, and he received praise from his teachers at the Imperial College and well-known scholars. The emperor was very satisfied with this third son of his, and recently he started keeping Qin Zhongjin by his side, intending to let him handle some simple state affairs. It seemed that the emperor was preparing to teach him how to be a ruler.
It was not until the evening that Qin Zhongjin returned to his own room.
However, before he could compose himself, he closed the door to see Ziyan, who often served by his mother's side, and Eunuch Zhang, who usually ran errands, along with several maids holding basins and towels standing in front of his bed.
Ziyan was wearing a red bellyband, a thin gauze draped around her body, revealing her round, snowy white shoulders and arms beneath the gauze. She wore a pair of red trousers on her legs, making it convenient for her, and light sleepers on her feet, revealing a pair of small, delicate feet.
Ziyan had light makeup on her face, with half-closed, suggestive eyes as she secretly glanced at the third prince from under her eyelashes. When the prince looked at her, she shyly lowered her eyes.
The third prince was truly extraordinary, tall and radiant, with a stunning face, and proficient in all kinds of talents like poetry, literature, archery, and horse riding. Looking at his arms, they seemed strong and powerful. Ziyan heard that the third prince had maintained his purity, never exposing himself to the debauchery that those wealthy young masters in Bianliang experienced with various women. That was why he was still pure at this age.
If she became the first woman for the third prince, he would likely always have a soft spot for her in his heart. Thinking about this, Ziyan couldn't help but blush and feel grateful to her master, the virtuous concubine, for giving her this opportunity.
However, when the Third Prince, whom Ziyan was so eagerly anticipating, saw her enticing attire, his face did not display the surprise or shyness she had imagined. Qin Zhongjin furrowed his brows and reproached, "What is going on?!" His voice was stern, lacking his usual approachable politeness. Ziyan was so frightened that her face turned pale, and she promptly knelt alongside Eunuch Zhang.
As she knelt, her ample breasts nearly spilled out from her front, yet Qin Zhongjin did not give them so much as a glance. Witnessing this scene, Eunuch Zhang felt a rising sense of despair, fearing that this plan was likely to fail. Still, given the Empress's order, he had to force a smile and plead, "Your Highness, please calm down. This is Miss Ziyan, whom you've met before. Today, when the Empress heard you've experienced your first ...er... physical awakening, she had me bring Miss Ziyan to teach you about worldly matters. Your Highness, you're a man now, and there are indeed certain things that you should understand."
Just as Eunuch Zhang predicted, the Third Prince, after hearing these words, wore a cold expression and directly commanded, "Leave."
Qin Zhongjin had just left his father, the Emperor, and observed how the Emperor interacted with his subordinates. With a naturally aloof personality, he was hard to approach and innately exuded an air of authority that warned strangers to keep their distance. Now, Qin Zhongjin exhibited this paternal trait. He nailed it, almost to perfection. With just one word, two syllables, Eunuch Zhang felt suffocated.
Ziyan was even more distraught, slumping to the ground with her round white shoulders trembling slightly. Such a pitiful appearance of a beauty would usually arouse compassion. However, Qin Zhongjin, having spent his childhood with Mu Cai, had his every act, every word, every emotion etched in his heart. After the dream last night, there was no room in his heart for anyone else.
Seeing Eunuch Zhang still motionless despite his intimidating demeanor, Qin Zhongjin lost his patience and said angrily, "I will handle the matter with the Empress Mother myself. Now, are you not leaving?!"
Raising his voice for the final sentence signified his boiling anger. Eunuch Zhang, who had been observing the Third Prince's mood for years, naturally understood that Qin Zhongjin was on the verge of losing his temper. He hastily rose from the ground and, trembling, bowed to the Third Prince. He then hurriedly helped the weak-kneed Ziyan to get up and leave. The maidservants who were supposed to serve them also quickly trailed behind with their heads lowered in silence, their footsteps measured and quiet.
Ziyan refused to give up, purposefully swaying her hips as she walked. She didn't believe that the just matured Third Prince would be utterly uninterested in such things, so she deliberately put on her most alluring display.
Just as she expected, the Third Prince indeed shouted, "Wait!"
Turning around excitedly, Ziyan found to her dismay that Qin Zhongjin was not looking at her. Instead, he pointed at the maidservants holding the washbasins and said, "You stay. Bring some hot water. I'll be washing up soon."
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Usually, after returning at this time, he would light the lamp and read for a while. But after today's tumultuous events, Qin Zhongjin didn't have the mood for it. After cleaning up, he went to bed, lying beneath the mosquito net in the quiet night, trying to sort out his chaotic thoughts.
Qin Zhongjin was aware that he harbored feelings for Mu Cai that were quite different from the norm.
In the Da Liang dynasty, there were indeed men who had feelings for other men, but they were mostly affluent young masters or high-ranking officials who kept male concubines for the sake of novelty. These men treated their concubines just like playthings, often sharing them among their circle of friends, or giving them away as they pleased. When their concubines inevitably aged and lost their youthful beauty, these men would callously discard them.
Qin Zhongjin was certain that his feelings for Mu Cai were nothing like that. He cherished and was fond of Mu Cai, never considering him just an object. While Qin Zhongjin was aware that he harbored the rawest and most straightforward... desire for him, he also had feelings of deep affection and intimacy for him. He wanted to spend his life with Mu Cai and had no desire for anyone else.
This small sentiment, without a clear starting point, had taken root and sprouted in his heart. Under normal circumstances, it stayed hidden, yet it was strong enough for Qin Zhongjin to decisively reject the bedmate selected by his Empress Mother without a second thought.
From ancient times to the present, men of certain statuses have been arranged to engage in intimate affairs upon coming of age, guided by the bedmate selected by their mothers. Such bedmates can stay by their side, but can never become wives, and many don't even make it to the rank of concubines. To a lot of men, having a bedmate means nothing; it's just a matter of owning another item. A man who, before marriage, does not have multiple concubines, and whose bedmate has not borne him children, is seen by the public as an upright gentleman, the perfect husband that countless young women aspire to marry.
But Qin Zhongjin instinctively rejected this. When he made this decision, it wasn't even thought through properly. All he could think of was Mu Cai's face.
Whenever Qin Zhongjin thought about this, he couldn't help but sigh. Before he realized his feelings, he too thought he would follow the conventional path men took: marry a woman, have children, and continue to dote on Mu Cai. Now, Qin Zhongjin, of course, thought otherwise.
He only wanted to marry Mu Cai.
This notion was insane, unacceptable to society. As the Emperor's most cherished son, Qin Zhongjin was previously indifferent towards the throne. However, now it seemed he was destined to never ascend to it, as being with Mu Cai would make this even more difficult, with countless eyes monitoring his every move.
As Qin Zhongjin gazed at the dark canopy overhead, he involuntarily reached up and rubbed his face. All this thinking was pointless, as Mu Cai was not even twelve years old yet, still a child. He probably harbored no feelings for him beyond brotherly affection.
What if Mu Cai didn't harbor such feelings for him at all? Was he supposed to force him? He could never stand to see Mu Cai upset; he only wanted to see him smile.
How wonderful it would be if Mu Cai reciprocated his feelings.
After tossing and turning in bed, Qin Zhongjin still couldn't figure out what to do and eventually fell asleep. He dreamt of the entire night of his intimate interactions with Mu Cai.
Standing outside the virtual scenario, Qin Zhongjin showed the person in his arms all his teenage affairs and dreams from his past life. Mu Cai, embraced by him and immobilized, had no choice but to listen to his struggles and confusion.
As he listened, Mu Cai had already faintly guessed why Qin Zhongjin had distanced himself from him.
Sure enough, the virtual scenario had already progressed to when Han Dan and young Mu Cai met at the horse riding area.
Han Dan heard Mu Cai murmur: "Brother Zhongjin has never spoken to me like this. He even helped me loosen my clothes to rest faster, allowing me to sleep on his lap."
Han Dan's face instantly turned pale.
Mu Cai was actually so close to the third prince. Han Dan, as a senior official specially arranged to meet with Qin Zhongjin, intending to become a confidante of the future king, his first thought at this moment was actually jealousy!
Han Dan was jealous of Qin Zhongjin, envious that he had got it before him, and had already established such an intimate relationship with Mu Cai! So, almost involuntarily, after Qin Zhongjin's horse riding lesson ended, he quickly stepped forward and blurted out: "Your Highness, as your study companion, Mu Cai's unseemly dress affects your reputation! And with his looks, I'm afraid those who are unaware might think that Your Highness is one who keeps male pets and indulges in pleasure!"
Han Dan's words carried a hidden warning, thinking that he had grasped the Third Prince's weakness and wanted to strike at him, forcing Qin Zhongjin to immediately sever his relationship with Mu Cai. He didn't know why he was doing this, why he would determine the complexity of their relationship based on a few words from a child, and why he harbored such dark and unspeakable thoughts to create discord.
All he knew was that he couldn't bear the intimacy between Mu Cai and the Third Prince!
Outside the virtual scenario, Han Dan finally heard his past self's thoughts. His face was pale, and he wanted to look at Mu Cai on the other side, only to see that Qin Zhongjin, with his eyes closed, was holding him in his arms.
Their relationship, after the entanglements of their past and present lives, seemed to have grown even stronger. Qin Zhongjin held the person in his arms tightly, while the red-clothed beauty did not even glance at Han Dan from beginning to end, only occasionally hitting the person behind him before continuing to watch the virtual scenario.
Han Dan turned away, unable to look at the beautiful scene that almost hurt his eyes, and could only focus his attention back on the virtual scenario.
The fifteen-year-old Qin Zhongjin didn't even notice any comments about his reputation. Born with an astute mind, he immediately understood Han Dan's hidden intentions. The other party thought Mu Cai was his male pet and wanted him to sever their relationship.
Han Dan was the eldest grandson of the senior official of the Ministry of Personnel and was of the same age as Qin Zhongjin. If he could figure out the clues, others must be able to as well. Qin Zhongjin's thoughts flew far away in an instant.
A few days ago, his mother concubine had specifically asked him why he hadn't accepted any concubines. At that time, Qin Zhongjin had barely used the excuse of being too young and not suitable for getting involved with women, and that he should learn more from his father to reject the idea. But he could use this reason for now, not for a lifetime!
In a couple of years, if he still hadn't accepted any concubines, not just his mother but likely his father would start asking questions. How would he respond? His father was astute and would surely see how fond he was of Cai Cai. Would Cai Cai get involved because of him at that time? Would the Mu family be blamed as a result?
Once Qin Zhongjin thought of this, he felt that he should distance himself from Cai Cai now. At least he couldn't be as unreserved as before, otherwise, Cai Cai would be the one who suffered in the future.
Therefore, he personally helped Cai Cai to bind his waist, only allowing himself one last time of indulgence before achieving his goal. From then on, Qin Zhongjin began to be more conscious of his actions, restraining the expressions and movements that naturally revealed his feelings for Cai Cai. Cai Cai felt wronged. Being a youngster, he didn't understand why Zhongjin was doing this, he just felt cast aside.
Qin Zhongjin could only smile bitterly in his heart. How could he explain this to Cai Cai? Was he supposed to say that he refused to accept concubines for Cai Cai and the fate of the Mu family? Would Cai Cai really understand his thoughts and intentions?
Moreover, Qin Zhongjin knew that once he said these words, his relationship with Cai Cai could really change. He couldn't bear the cost if Cai Cai completely left him. He only wanted to wait until he came of age, until he became king, and before leaving Biangliang, then express his feelings to Cai Cai, asking whether he would be willing to go with him.
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However, what Qin Zhongjin didn't expect was that while he was restraining himself for Cai Cai, someone seized the opportunity to intrude.
That was Qin Zhongyi.
Like a wolf that had smelled blood, he sniffed out the rift between him and Cai Cai and began to crazily apply conciliatory measures, trying to pull Cai Cai into his arms.
What was worse was that because Qin Zhongjin had decided to abdicate the throne, he could be with Mu Cai without the burdens of their position. Over the past year, his father had been paying more attention to the ambitious Qin Zhongyi. Now, Qin Zhongyi had become his father's favorite, boasting and flaunting his power, even attempting to overshadow Qin Zhongjin.
At this point, if Qin Zhongyi were to take Mu Cai away, Qin Zhongjin would be left with no options!
Qin Zhongjin looked at Qin Zhongyi, who had his arm around Mu Cai's shoulder. The mocking and disdain in Qin Zhongyi's wolf-like eyes were directed at him. Mu Cai looked back at Qin Zhongjin with eyes filled with grievance and loss, like a morning star.
But after some time apart, Mu Cai seemed more beautiful than before. The youthful innocence had faded, revealing breathtaking beauty.
More and more people gazed at Mu Cai with greedy, lustful eyes, and Qin Zhongyi was the most powerful among them. In truth, Qin Zhongjin knew that he was one of those countless pairs of eyes. He could restrain himself with rationality, but he couldn't trust that others would do the same.
The sight of Qin Zhongyi's arm around Mu Cai's shoulder painfully struck Qin Zhongjin. In the past, only Qin Zhongjin would do that, but now, Qin Zhongyi could too. And it wasn't just him—many others would climb upon Qin Zhongjin and deceive Mu Cai with false concern if given the chance.
A beauty like Mu Cai was meant to be possessed by the most powerful.
At this moment, Qin Zhongjin finally realized this.
He decided—he would ascend to the throne!
The royal exams were around the corner. The emperor was in his study, bothered over who should supervise the exams and reviewing the scripts. Stepping forward, Qin Zhongjin deeply bowed, "My Emperor, the royal examination has many aspects and I'd like to share the burden."
Seeing how his characteristically quiet third son suddenly took the initiative, the Emperor consented to his request with a single raised eyebrow.
This son of his, who greatly resembled him, had finally grown up.
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Author's note:
Qin Zhongjin: If you don't explode in endurance, you become twisted through it!
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